remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize