her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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