community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
