i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
