He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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