I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
