My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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