I want to have your abortion
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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