i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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