Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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