We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
