it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
