i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
