I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dick very happy bro
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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