so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
