so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
