Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
