i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
