Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They took my balls.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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