think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
