Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
