so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
