this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
