I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
