Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
