Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
