Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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