We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
