no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
