OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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