dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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