I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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