i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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