Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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