I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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