fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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