the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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