so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
