Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
