I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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