I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
there was a trapeze. enough said
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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