If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
