I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
