naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize