if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
