I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Houston, we have a squirter
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
