If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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