Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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