I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
