On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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