you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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