How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
