Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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