i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
