OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
