He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
