he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
