I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
